Being a long distance daughter on mother's day
May 11, 2018
Mother’s Day? Every year I am engulfed with feelings of gratitude. But also guilt. You see I live really far from my mother. I moved overseas in my twenties, met a man and settled down even farther. Now I live in Sydney. Yes, Australia. And my mother? In a retirement home in upstate New York. Read more to know how I tackle the situation of being daughter over long distance .
Looking back on our past
My mother has been my rock when times got tough. We didn’t lack the basics of day-to-day living but certainly did not have the luxury of getting everything we wanted growing up. I remember my first big gift from my parents was a beat-up old bike from a neighborhood friend when I was seven years old. But I was proud and happy. We had a simple home and simple but delicious meals. Later, my dad died, right when I started my first year in high school. My mother raised my little brother and me alone after that. She never remarried.
It’s nearly 8 years that I’m living in Sydney. I now have children of my own. To be honest, it’s only now that I can fully appreciate all my mother has done for us. Her calm, loving demeanor always made me feel like I could confide in her. Her patience was endless. Even with my brother, who was quite the rascal as a child. Her warm smile always made us feel at home, wherever we were.With all the appreciation I have in my heart, which I would love to shower upon my mother, I am just too far away now.
How can I ever show her how I really feel? Mother’s Day comes around every year and I feel pangs of remorse for having left her. I see shops full of flowers and chocolate urging us to surprise our mothers. Social media keeps reminding us to express our gratitude to them. Then, I hear friends planning special Sunday lunches and surprise outings for their mothers on Mother’s Day. What could I do that could ever measure up to that?
A special surprise for Mother’s Day
A month ago, I had a talk with my friend Laura who is in a similar predicament. Although she is able to visit her mother more frequently, she needed a better way to keep in touch than phone calls. She started using Oscar Senior to communicate with her mom. She said that the application is the perfect solution for them because it is designed to help the elderly use Internet tools. Laura started sending photos to her mother, who was able to view them instantly. Then they video called each other. Her mother was very happy to see her. She was also proud that she could call her daughter herself.
I knew my mother was lonely. The retirement home is not the same as being home surrounded by family. Unfortunately, due to a few operations on her eyes and hips, she started needing constant care. It was hard for her to keep up with housework. Now she is well taken care of. But still, I knew I had to be more involved in her life and she in mine.
So I’ve been thinking. When’s a more perfect time to have a video chat than Mother’s Day? We could spend some time together virtually. I have already asked her friend in the community to download Oscar Senior on a tablet she was given a few years back. I instead, started using it on my smartphone. Since I’m always running around, for me, it’s really useful to be able to use it on the go.
Our lives connected by technology
Living in Sydney is fascinating. Coming from a small town, I am still in awe of all the opportunities a capital can provide. I’m also really lucky to be living downtown. I have easy access to all the schools, shops, restaurants, bars, theaters, gyms. The list can go on forever. We are very busy as a family and we’re rarely at home. Having Oscar Senior on my phone will make it easy to contact mom more often.
My mother on the other hand is living a slower life. She enjoys socializing with friends and attending various events organized by the home. But she always says how she misses me and the grandkids. I know that this Mother’s Day, I want to make a change. It’s now clear to me that time is passing too fast and I need to be there for my mother now more than ever. I want to give back the care and love she has given me over the years.
To get easily connected to your mom, no matter where she lives, download Oscar Senior.